Thoughts on friendship

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Inspired by Psychologies magazine, Katrina from Beau Twins ponders on the importance of friendships in our day-to-day lives...

Two hands forming a heart

Various posts about friendship get written as it’s a subject matter close to many hearts. There is no getting away from acknowledging friendships unless you are a complete loner. Somewhere, somehow and at some point; we form friendships in our life time. They are ever evolving, ever changing, and friendships can challenge us deeply. Ruled by emotion and by the heart, friendships can leave us wide open and vulnerable. And I believe we learn some of our greatest life lessons, as friendships teach us a lot about ourselves. I’m not just referring to the negative ones either as they can open our eyes to the positives too.

I’ve always been the sort of person who can make friends easily and have always had lots of friendships from leading a very social life. It can be overwhelming to keep up with everyone and I often feel guilty of neglecting those I care about.

With busy lifestyles, it can be increasingly more difficult to “keep on top” of everything and everyone. But let’s not forget, friendship is a two way street, so I refuse to get too upset if friendships die out from a lack of commitment. This only makes me even more grateful for the friendships that I do have. The equal measures of giving and receiving is a strong reason why they work – mutual understanding, love, respect and trust.

Sadly, I’m not alone when I say that precious energy and time has freely flowed into toxic friendships. I give my trust in the hope that the person will treasure it. But far too often it’s taken, ripped apart and thrown like it’s a replaceable object. If only people treated trust with the same respect as expensive jewellery or a gadget.

I’m also sadden at times by the number of friendships formed that just haven’t been given the chance to stand the test of time. On many occasions, I have wondered what I could have done to prevent that happening and start blaming myself for the failure of that friendship. Dealing with these forms of rejection can be testing. The self loathing switch flicks on and you endure the battle with yourself as to why that person didn’t want to know you better. But the more exposure to this, the more I have come to realise that those relationships simply aren’t worth it. I see it that those people aren’t in your life right now or may never be because your life is leaving room for the right people to be there. Our journey teaches us to only allow room in your life for the right people, but we have to experience the bad to appreciate the good.#

A quote about friendship

So why do we cross paths with those people? I feel it’s because they are all life lessons. They teach us about what we are willing to accept of behaviours and guide us to a better understanding of ourselves. Whilst we can throw negative thoughts out to the world about how that person pained us in some way, we can also spin it into a lesson – a lesson on how you should expect to be treated by others.

We treat those how we want to be treated and if the same is not reciprocated, then why allow those emotional drains to be in our life? Make room for the right people, even if you have to do a stint in life on your own for a bit. Monumental life changes like having babies, getting married or becoming single will reveal the true friendships. Be hopeful that when life starts its turning point again, new people will present themselves.

Now and again it’s important to re-evaluate who we allow in our lives; if there is more pain than joy coming from a relationship, it’s likely we need to get rid of that person – easier said than done of course. However, I am a firm believer that life has a funny way of dispelling those people at the right time. As long as you are open to it and realise your worth then it’s likely those people will no longer exist in your world. Life is far too precious to invite negativity into it.

As much of a cliché this sounds, I am truly blessed to have such wonderful relationships in my life. There is a lot of love and it works both ways. The special friendships I have formed over the years mean so much to me. Do you make a conscious effort to evaluate your friendship circles? Share your experience in the comments below.

For more guidance on positive living, subscribe to Psychologies magazine.

Images from Pixabay

This is a guest post via the blogger network